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DO YOU EVER ASK:

 

  • How come I feel addicted or obsessed with the people I'm attracted to? 

  • Why can't I break the pattern of falling for narcissistic or emotionally unavailable people? 

  • Why do I want people, even when I know they aren't available or a good match? 

  • The intensity and euphoria feels so good, will I ever be attracted to someone healthy? 

  • How can I identify and heal the subconscious parts of me that draws me to toxic other's?

  • Is it me - is it them - is it both? 

  • How will I be able to leave this person or get them out of my mind? 

  • FIND OUT IF THE 90 DAY "TRUE" NO CONTACT CHALLENGE IS RIGHT FOR YOU

 

IF SO - this resource page is for you. Here you will find links to youtube channels, podcasts, books, audiobooks, articles and other resources that can help you make sense of this self-defeating style of relating. As common and universal as these private experiences are, they are not widely understood in the mainstream - even among many trained therapists - and that's why healingloveresource.com started.

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Whether you call it unrequited love, limerence, infatuation, obsession, a crush, sex, fantasy and/or love addiction; this intimacy disorder is more or less is the same beast (in varying degrees) in my opinion - approached and defined in different ways.

 

Is this co-dependency, a progressive brain disease or a spiritual malady? Maybe it's just a dysfunctional and strong habit?  Or is it an innate drive gone awry, a trauma bond or a subconscious attachment trauma? Maybe it's all of it - however you label it - it sucks!

 

For me  - I simply view this as having addictive, intense, euphoric feelings (which can even feel uncontrollable and obsessive) of lust or romance towards someone who is either/both UNAVAILABLE and/or UNHEALTHY for you. Knowing this intellectually is not enough to stop the  desire/longing - or to stop the chronic pattern of "picking" or "falling for" these types. Whether you were in a romantic relationship with this person or not - this could be for:

  •  people who are hooked on "crumbs" and mixed signals

  •  those who chase the unavailable and hop from  "crush to crush,"

  •  anyone who obsessed over the same person for many years

  •  and even people who can't leave or  "get over" a toxic relationship

 

Hearing of individuals who are in their 70s and beyond STILL struggling with these attachment issues after years in therapy or 12 step programs is HEARTBREAKING for me! This is not to put down people's individual journey's, 12 steps or therapy, as those combinations of treatment can be very effective for some, but it's not  effective for all.

 

This is why I am DETERMINED to research and provide a resource of available information to cover this insidious internal struggle from every angle possible: spiritual, scientific, psychological (or combination of those)  - and then you get to  decide what works for you to take your life back and have the ability to love and attach in a grounded, reality-based, healthy way that's a win win for you and your partner (unless you choose to remain healthy and happily single).

 

I hope you find this page helpful in your healing journey.

 

I think the insights, wisdoms and teachings in these free resources can likely be applicable to other areas of life. Meaning, you may find this helpful even if you are an avoidant, a people pleaser,  a perfectionist, a sexual/emotional anorexic or have other habitual addictions (including process addictions such as internet, social media, eating, spending).

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STEVE!!! 

© HealingLoveResource -  All Rights Reserved

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Launched: 11/8/2020 - Updated 4/21/24

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